Two sides of the same coin

Remember when you met your partner and couldn’t get enough of each other? Perhaps you were somewhat starry-eyed and could only see all their good qualities. You focused on all the ways you were the same and how you shared a sense of aesthetics and usually liked most all of the same things. For some folks the sex was great and you may have thought you met your soul mate.

After a while (the time frame is of course different for everyone) you started to see the other sides of your partner and wondered where this perfect person and your great relationship have disappeared to? Things done during the “honeymoon” which were fascinating may have become annoying or difficult to tolerate! You can no longer always agree with them and their ideas. They may seem less attentive to your needs. What went wrong, maybe you didn’t find your soul mate after all and should consider a partner “trade-in” to hopefully find the “right one”.

What could be happening is a new perception of the “other side of the coin” just revealed itself and you are seeing a startling “new” side of your partner. So where do you to go from here? One approach may be to focus on all the strong points your partner has. Are techniques available to attempt not pointing out their weaknesses, but encourage them to find out for themselves? You may be able to find a way to focus on all the things that are strong in your relationships and genuinely begin to enjoy your interesting differences.

If you try to find another partner but what are the odds you may run right into many of the same issues? The best time is always now for taking a good look at yourself and what is going on with you and your inner world. But far from blaming your partner or yourself, we will use a more effective technique of gentle self-inquiry. Now you can enter this moment of healing some of your old wounds. Perhaps with a new approach you will be able to see yourself and your partner in a fresh perspective and find a remarkable place in a transformed relationship even beyond what you anticipated.

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